Navigating the Silence: A Journey Towards Spiritual Awakening
Written on
Chapter 1: The Voice of Parents
Have you ever caught yourself echoing your parents' words? As I age, I find this happening more frequently—expressions, both positive and negative, slip out, mirroring my upbringing.
In the Sermon on the Mount, nestled between the beatitudes and the phrase, "you have heard it said," Jesus addresses the concepts of salt and light. He states, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its flavor, how can it regain its saltiness? It's no longer useful and is thrown away, trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be concealed. People don’t light a lamp and place it under a basket; instead, they set it on a lampstand to illuminate everyone in the house. Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
This teaching stands out among his many lessons, as Jesus often urged discretion regarding his miracles and encouraged his followers to do the same. So why this emphasis on visibility?
This marks part nine of a continuing series. Begin with part one, Call No One Master.
Call No One Master: The Making of a Spiritual Anarchist, Part 1
Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ. — The Gospel of Matthew
Section 1.1: The Influence of Joseph
I speculate that these words may have originated from Jesus' earthly father, Joseph. Not much is said about him beyond the nativity story, and he disappears from the Gospels after the incident in Jerusalem, as noted in Luke.
Perhaps during the approximately eighteen silent years of Jesus’ life, Joseph was nurturing his son towards a life of visibility. Parents often perceive potential in their children that others overlook—sometimes with bias, sometimes without. Scholars and poets can only conjecture about those quiet years.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Silence of Transition
In 2012, I relocated to Homer, Alaska, and then to Longmont, Colorado, in 2017. My move was driven by love, but I found myself in an unfamiliar world that I wasn’t quite prepared for. I anticipated an exciting adventure, but it turned into a rather quiet period in my life, where not much transpired.
I don’t mean to downplay the significance of getting married and having a child—those were monumental life changes. However, the thrilling experiences of my past seemed absent. My ego took a blow as my reputation faded, and the opportunities for a more adventurous life felt virtually nonexistent.
Homer’s population is smaller than my childhood neighborhood, with the nearest city over an hour away, and Anchorage, the closest major city, a four-hour journey. Coming from southern California, I felt isolated and out of my comfort zone. There were moments when I questioned whether moving here was the right choice, doubting my previous accomplishments. With only my girlfriend as my anchor, my past experiences were often overlooked.
Section 1.2: Embracing the Silence
I rarely compare myself to historical figures, but during this time, I felt akin to those who experienced their own silent years.
When Jesus was twelve, he was left behind in Jerusalem and later found conversing with teachers in the temple, impressing them. Then, he vanishes from the narrative until his baptism by John in the Jordan. Similarly, after Moses kills an overseer in Egypt, he retreats into the wilderness, only to reappear later with a divine calling.
Many notable figures have lived vibrant lives in their youth only to go silent, reemerging as wiser adults. This gave me comfort.
Initially, I grappled with feelings of “Don’t you know who I am?” and “Don’t you recognize my achievements?” Eventually, I adapted to life at the end of the road (the US highway system culminates in Homer). I shifted from speaking to listening, primarily on social media platforms like X/Twitter, and became involved in the local open mic scene.
Surrounded by individuals whose spiritual and political views differed from mine, I learned to listen and absorb. Everyone possesses a unique blend of wisdom and insight, making it essential to learn from those whose perspectives contrast with your own.
Chapter 2: The Unwritten Reflections
During this phase, I produced very few poems, and even fewer focused on my experiences in Alaska. I published my first book while living there, but all the poetry stemmed from my life in California, Colorado, and Nepal. I also drafted a fantasy western tale.
This may be the most I've shared about my time in Alaska. Amidst the inner conflicts I faced, the breathtaking beauty of Alaska's wilderness sustained me. Perhaps one day, I will compose reflections on that experience.
After returning to Colorado with my wife and child, I felt re-energized. A few months of sunshine and social interaction reignited my creativity. It was a change my wife noticed, one I hadn't fully acknowledged until now.
Living through the silent chapters of your life can be disheartening and challenging. However, these periods may be precisely what you need to prepare for the next phase of your journey. The moment when the basket is lifted from your lamp can be truly illuminating.
Video Description: In "Reading Between the Lines 195 - Hiding Your Light Under a Bushel," the speaker delves into the significance of not concealing one's true self and the impact it has on personal growth.
Video Description: "What does it mean to hide your lamp under a basket? Thoughts on the church witness" explores the importance of visibility in faith and the role of personal testimony in community engagement.