Chapter 1: The Reality of Elderly Care

In a bustling dermatology clinic, an elderly woman anxiously paced while awaiting her son's test results. The hospital was packed, making it difficult for anyone, including younger patients, to find a place to rest.

“Why don’t you let him come alone? He’s over forty,” someone remarked. “I can’t,” she replied, “he struggles with his weight.”

Eventually, her son appeared, clearly overweight and wearing a cap that shadowed his face. His frail mother, weighed down by age, continued to move restlessly. Even the medical staff couldn't help but feel a sense of pity for her.

While hospitals can often be filled with cheerful interactions among staff, the atmosphere in this instance was anything but positive. Another elderly man, likely in his sixties or seventies, hobbled in alone and, when asked to settle his bill, replied, “I have no money,” expressing deep sorrow about being unable to depend on his children. This situation struck me profoundly; if I were in his shoes, feeling abandoned by my own children, I would be heartbroken, grappling with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.

Even when children are committed to caring for their aging parents, those in their eighties often express feelings of fatigue regarding their declining health. Many voice sentiments like, “I wish I could just pass away so I wouldn’t burden my children anymore.”

Caring for parents should be a natural instinct, given that they raised us. Yet, numerous elderly individuals find themselves isolated and unsupported. There’s a saying that a son serves as his mother’s protective armor, while a daughter acts as her warm shield. However, as one ages, this protective gear may no longer fit, leaving them vulnerable to the harshness of life.

Our generation, those born in the 1980s and later, still has the opportunity to grow and thrive, so let's strive to move forward! Reflecting on my studies of classical literature, I’ve observed how deeply Chinese culture honors motherhood, attributing to it a sacred significance since mothers are the essence of life.

In the ancient teachings of Laozi, the notion of “Dao” represents the source of all existence. What better metaphor for Dao exists than that of a mother? A mother embodies life, serving as a symbol of nurturing and creation. For instance, in Chapter Six of the Dao De Jing, Laozi articulates: “The spirit of the valley never dies; this is called the mysterious female. The gateway of the mysterious female is called the root of heaven and earth. It is continuous and everlasting, and its use is effortless.”

Here, the “spirit of the valley” and the “mysterious female” serve as symbols for the female reproductive system, hinting at life’s origins and maternal creativity. A mother is the foundation of life, the source of all that exists. Her presence is eternal, and her love knows no bounds.

Years ago, a media report highlighted a mother who rushed to catch her child falling from a great height. Even an egg could perish from such a fall, let alone a child. What defines a mother? A mother is someone willing to sacrifice everything, even her own life, to ensure her child’s safety.

During the Sichuan Wenchuan earthquake, a mother sent a text before her death saying, “My child, mom will always love you.” Maternal love is boundless, and we must honor our mothers in return.

Laozi repeatedly emphasizes the Dao as the universe's origin in the Dao De Jing. “The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth; the named is the mother of all things.” “There exists something indistinct yet complete, born before heaven and earth. Silent and empty, it stands alone and unchanging. It permeates everywhere and never becomes exhausted. It can be considered the mother of the world.” These passages highlight that Dao, akin to a mother, possesses nurturing and generative qualities, positioning her as the creator and protector of life.

“The softest thing in the world overcomes the hardest thing in the world.” Maternal love, which may seem gentle, wields the strength to conquer all challenges. The power of a mother’s love is unrivaled, without question.

A mother's love for her child is entirely selfless; she is prepared to offer everything, even her life, for her offspring. “All things under heaven emerge from something, and something arises from nothing.” Laozi consistently illustrates the importance of the mother figure. From ancient times to the present, it is only through mothers that we can genuinely comprehend the meaning and significance of life. Honoring our mothers equates to respecting life itself; revering our mothers is akin to revering the Dao!

Some might claim their biological families have wronged them and wish to completely sever ties with their mothers. However, the yearning and bond with one's mother form an inseparable connection, a fundamental law of life that cannot be escaped. We all begin our existence in the womb, and the nurturing we receive during those nine months etches our mother’s essence into our very being. This bond is inescapable.

No matter how far one attempts to flee, a thread remains tethered to the heart, anchored by the mother. While some mothers may not fulfill their roles adequately, this is a reality many face. As a teacher, I have encountered numerous unfortunate children who, lacking maternal care, must fend for themselves daily, surviving on instant noodles and appearing pale and frail, often struggling with health and academics. However, these children are not to blame; they are often more perceptive and resilient than their peers.

These children, who nearly raise themselves, feel helpless due to their mothers’ absence but do not carry resentment. As they mature, they will come to understand. As we grow and gain strength, we become better equipped to let go and acquire a broader perspective on life.

We should fulfill our responsibilities, address our worries, and refrain from fixating on whether we will receive reciprocity from our mothers. After all, we have taken from them without hesitation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece! If you found it worthwhile, please leave a ❤️ or 👍!