A Shift in Focus

Last Sunday, I resolved to stop drinking—once again. A few days later, at the close of today, I made the decision to deactivate my main Facebook account, which had over 2,500 connections. These two choices signify a notable change in how I allocate my time and attention. I've invested considerable energy in both activities, often to my detriment.

Indeed, both alcohol and social media have woven themselves deeply into my daily routine, leading me to hesitate in voicing my intentions, fearing a potential relapse and the accompanying embarrassment. Yet, I have come to realize that whether I engage with Facebook or alcohol primarily affects me. It's not the ultimate determinant of my worth or happiness.

While I appreciate the ritual of an evening drink, its benefits have begun to diminish for me, compelling me to attempt another period of abstinence. This decision to quit drinking wasn't a sudden revelation; rather, it had been brewing in my mind for some time. As I continued, it became clear that a change was necessary, not because drinking was overtly harmful, but perhaps because it was no longer fulfilling.

The Consequences of Excess

Regularly consuming alcohol comes with its toll—weight gain, heartburn, mental fog, and fatigue. The moment I resumed drinking, I noticed a decline in my mental acuity, not during drinking, but when completely sober. After a couple of days, the changes were evident; I lacked the sharpness I once possessed. The allure of cocktails and wine fades quickly, losing their initial charm.

The idea of savoring a mixed drink or a glass of wine is enticing. I enjoy the immediate effects and the ritual that accompanies my end-of-day drink. However, the negatives have begun to outweigh the positives for me, prompting another attempt at sobriety. Time will tell how this will unfold, though I make no promises.

Two years ago, on this very date, I first abstained from alcohol since reaching adulthood. This coincided with the pandemic, but my choice stemmed from a desire to regain control over my life. Alcohol had started to dictate my actions, impacting both my health and relationships. It was challenging to confront my relationship with alcohol, not because I was drinking excessively, but because it consumed too much of my time and mental space.

Ironically, while many found themselves drinking more during lockdowns, I took the opposite path. I joked about whether my decision was the best or worst of my life. In retrospect, I recognize that continuing to drink would have been detrimental, especially without the need to drive. I could have easily slipped into a state of low-grade inebriation throughout those months. So, I chose to stop.

After about 16 months, I resumed drinking, albeit at a more controlled rate. I maintained what I considered a moderate intake—perhaps more than advisable, but certainly not excessive. I found myself drinking daily, a habit that left me feeling less than energized.

Rituals and Substitutes

When I quit smoking, I realized it wasn't the act itself that I enjoyed as much as the ritual and the gratification it provided. I find myself similarly drawn to drinking for the same reasons.

The calming effects of alcohol are, in my view, unmatched in their ability to both soothe and exhilarate. I have since turned to cannabis as a healthier alternative for winding down, though it lacks the slight euphoria that alcohol offers—providing only relaxation.

Reflecting on the words of author Anne Lamott, who has candidly discussed her tumultuous relationship with alcohol, she expressed a longing for brief escapes from reality. She noted, "I wish I could get away with one or two glasses of wine or half a Valium, or even with getting to eat my body weight in Mexican food and chocolate every couple of days. I just desperately want to check out for a couple of hours now and then." This urge to disconnect resonates with me and can often be mirrored in our interactions with social media.

The Allure of Social Media

Social media delivers a similar rush. Each notification offers a fleeting thrill—who commented? What did they say? Did they like it? The compulsion to check back frequently is akin to feeding quarters into an arcade machine, hoping for a prize you never wanted.

In addiction studies, these notifications are referred to as cues—triggers that engage our brains in ways that release dopamine. When quitting smoking, for instance, the first step is learning to navigate life without a cigarette during all those habitual moments. Over time, you adapt to these moments without reaching for a smoke.

The design of social media is inherently addictive, encouraging us to return repeatedly. A simple pull-down refresh grants us new content and another hit of excitement—albeit low-grade, but still preferable to nothing, or so we convince ourselves.

In the 1970s, psychologist Dr. Bruce Alexander explored addiction through his "Rat Park" experiment, where isolated rats overwhelmingly chose plain water over a morphine-laced alternative when provided with a stimulating environment. The conclusion was that it wasn't the drug itself causing overindulgence, but rather the isolation and lack of engagement in fulfilling activities.

A Lesson in Conditioned Responses

We may not be rats, but our brains operate similarly regarding conditioned responses. In Ivan Pavlov's early 20th-century studies, he demonstrated that dogs could be trained to salivate at the sound of a bell, anticipating a treat.

In our contemporary world, we encounter similar conditioning through social media and our cultural environments. Even if we don't consciously acknowledge it, we are continually reminded of these stimuli until we give in to them, receiving our reward—a little dopamine hit, enough to distract us from pursuing more meaningful experiences.

As I stated earlier, I don't believe any particular activity is inherently good or bad. My primary concern is the transition from reasonable moderation to unwarranted excess. It's entirely possible that I may return to both Facebook and drinking in the future, but taking a step back periodically seems beneficial. I may find that, akin to smoking, the negatives outweigh the positives, prompting a complete departure from these habits.

Breaking Free from Cycles

What I truly wish to do is break free from patterns that feel endless and futile. I refuse to be merely a rat in a cage—no matter how pleasant the cage may seem or how enjoyable the momentary pleasures are. I must remind myself that a broader world of experiences awaits, but only if I can detach from the allure of superficial delights.

This video explores Ivan Pavlov's famous experiments on classical conditioning, revealing how stimuli can shape behavior and responses.

A discussion on the importance of not fixating on the number of days since your last drink, emphasizing a healthier approach to sobriety.