Chapter 1: The Importance of Self-Advocacy

Standing up for yourself is not about diminishing others.

In her role as Head of Operations, Fleur spends much of her day in meetings with her team. Therefore, she was taken aback when she received a one-on-one meeting request from Georgia, a member of the IT support staff who reported to a manager several levels below Fleur. Nevertheless, she accepted the request, hoping it wasn’t a complaint from one of the few women in the company. Fleur had plans to improve those numbers once the quarter concluded.

“Please, come in.”

Georgia entered, looking anxious but striving to appear composed.

“Hi, Mrs. Dubois. I apologize for catching you off guard with this meeting. I know how busy you are—”

“Let me interject, Georgia. First, you can call me Fleur. Second, you haven't even shared the purpose of this meeting yet you’re apologizing. Never apologize unnecessarily. You deemed this meeting important enough to schedule, so seize the opportunity.”

Fleur offered an encouraging smile, signaling to Georgia that she had the floor.

“Thank you, Fleur. I want to begin by saying I truly enjoy my role here, and I have a supportive team.”

“That’s great to hear.”

“However, I’m facing a significant challenge that I believe is impeding my career growth!”

Alarm bells rang in Fleur’s mind. “What seems to be the issue? Are you alright?!”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Georgia chuckled, visibly relaxing Fleur. “My concern is my self-confidence. I know I need to participate more in meetings, share my ideas, and engage in discussions with my manager and other departments to expand my horizons and establish my presence.”

“But I struggle with that. I’m too frightened of being wrong, upsetting others, or appearing as someone seeking attention. When I have suggestions, I confide in Ethan, another support staff member, and have him present my ideas.”

Fleur noticed the disappointment on Georgia's face as she continued to belittle herself.

“I’ve observed you from afar, Fleur. You seem so self-assured and unafraid to express your thoughts. I was thrilled to find a role model in you, but I haven’t managed to enhance my skills at all.”

“Do you have any advice to help me avoid undermining my own future?” Georgia pleaded.

This brought Fleur back to her early days in the industry when she lacked genuine support. Luckily, her parents had been her backbone during those challenging times. Now, she had the chance to mentor the next generation, both women and men, who needed guidance.

“Georgia, you’re much further along in your self-improvement journey than you realize. You took the initiative to schedule this meeting with someone you’ve never met because you knew it would aid your growth. You are more confident than you think; even if you haven't shared your ideas in meetings, you’ve demonstrated enough understanding to discuss them with your colleague.”

“It’s not a lack of self-confidence; it’s a struggle with assertiveness.”

“I never considered it that way,” Georgia replied, her expression brightening as she grasped Fleur's point. “But what exactly does being assertive entail?”

“Assertiveness is a skill—one of the most vital skills that often goes unaddressed. I learned it because I, too, was in your shoes years ago. I wanted to advance but didn’t know how. It may sound cliché, but I embarked on a journey of personal development. Through my research, I came across a book by Judy Murphy about earning respect by advocating for yourself.”

They shared a laugh.

“You can borrow my copy,” Fleur said, “but here’s a brief overview of assertiveness.”

“Being assertive means expressing your needs, sharing your opinions, contributing ideas, and standing up for yourself without feeling guilty about being perceived as domineering or aggressive. The key difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness is the respect you show for others' opinions alongside your own.”

“As Head of Operations, I make the final call on strategies, yet everyone believes they have the perfect solution for their individual concerns. I listen to all the feedback from the departmental heads and make a comprehensive decision that benefits everyone.”

“Don’t some people get upset with your choices?” Georgia asked.

“Absolutely. Discussions can become quite intense. I encourage all feedback in follow-up meetings but will not tolerate insults or disrespect towards me or others. In my role, I know my stuff. I’ve stood my ground consistently. Yet, I ensure that we have respectful discussions so everyone comprehends the rationale behind my decisions. The respect I give others, combined with my ability to maintain my stance, has earned me a level of respect that no formal degree could provide. If someone can convince me of a better approach, I’m open to it.”

“Once you read the book, I’m sure we’ll have plenty to discuss. It contains strategies that have benefited me immensely, and I’d love to share those insights with you.”

“Fleur, you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you so very much!”

“No need for thanks. I aim to be your mentor and support, propelling you to heights even greater than mine. Ultimately, your success hinges on your commitment to it.”

“Oh, I desire it more than anything, Fleur.”

“Alright, meet me tomorrow for the book.”

After expressing her gratitude multiple times, Georgia exited the room.

Once she left, Fleur called her secretary.

“Margie, could you please have Andre from marketing come up? I want to discuss launching a campaign to encourage more women to join our company.”

“Of course, Mrs. Dubois. I’ll get right on it.”

Chapter 2: Building Self-Confidence Through Assertiveness

The first video titled "How To Stand Up For Yourself And Set Boundaries" offers valuable insights on developing assertiveness and maintaining personal boundaries while respecting others.

The second video, "How to Stop Being A People Pleaser and Start Putting Yourself First | Mel Robbins," provides guidance on prioritizing your needs and fostering self-confidence in your personal and professional life.

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