Chapter 1: The ADHD Experience

"Where in the world are my keys?"

As we continue to navigate the ADHD journey (yes, it’s not a typo — you're welcome, fellow ADHDers), we delve into the unique experience of those with ADHD. (For earlier installments, check out the ADHD — A Day in the Life List. Feel free to save and share this series if you find it engaging!)

Contrary to the common stereotype, when someone with ADHD returns home, they do not simply toss their wallet, purse, keys, or phone into a void only to later frantically search for them.

You, the focused ADHDer that you are, are ready to tackle the first task on your Big Three List (for more on how this list is made, see the previous installment). Here are the key items:

1. Goodwill
2. Toilet Paper
3. Amazon Cart and Planner
4. Laundry (maybe)

Seems straightforward, right? Just jump on Amazon to grab those backpacks in your cart. Oh, and don’t forget the TP! Easy peasy.

But, wait — notice anything?

If you’re just tuning in, the ADHDer in question was merely a few feet from the door, on their way to ACTUAL Task #1: dropping off clothes at Goodwill. "Goodwill" here is not a suggestion about the optimistic spirit of the day!

Additionally, just moments ago, our task-oriented individual used the last bit of TP, having already postponed this urgent task. Can it arrive today? Hmm.

But alas, you've slipped on the banana peel of denial. It has been said that denial is...

Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

This encapsulates the ADHD experience when it comes to time, money, focus, energy, and endurance for tasks or events. As the clock ticks closer, our brains send mixed signals about what’s important, often unrelated to time. We require substantial support and commitment to stay on a path that enhances our lives.

It’s easy to forget that mere enthusiasm for a plan does not constitute a plan, especially considering we may have tried it many times before with little success.

"I have a new system," or "I've got a plan," are common phrases among ADHDers. The idea of having a plan, even if we subconsciously know it might fail, can be incredibly comforting. The reality is that we need both a plan AND the support to execute it. Once we have that, we can truly excel and help others do the same.

But, ugh… that banana peel! Who left that there?

So, you’re on Amazon…

Hmm, that backpack comes with a charger. Great idea! You add it to the cart. (Now you have THREE options.) Maybe you should consider that one instead. You don’t remember that it’s actually the same one, just a different color. You already settled on the perfect teal one in your cart.

One option is ten dollars less. Do I really need the charger? But I’ve only met her twice! Should I text her mom? I should catch up with my half-sister. Oh no, am I being codependent by getting her a gift? I didn’t even give her a birthday present. I should practice self-love. And I do need a backpack. Seriously, it’s been MONTHS!

Wait, if I go to the upscale part of town, that Goodwill — What’s it called again? I’ll check. (Type.) I could totally find a beautiful, barely-used high-end backpack for myself, and then I’d only need to buy one. I might even snag a little something for — and save some cash for Besos, ha! Reduce, reuse, recycle, right?

You had this idea about ten minutes ago when you created the list. That’s why you decided Goodwill should come first.

DAMMIT! I promised myself I wouldn’t go on Amazon until after I returned! Just go to Goodwill. It’s familiar, and you won’t get lost. Just three turns. Three big tasks.

Three and three. It’s meant to be.

The ADHDer resets. All is not lost. Phone back in the reusable grocery bag you’re using until you replace it at Goodwill with a stylish new purse. Toss your old purse into the donation bag… and bada bing, you’re OUT. THE. DOOR!

The rush of dopamine kicks in. Put on those big sunglasses. Clothes in the trunk… with the rest, of course. They’re going to love you, Warren Buffetess!

Let’s roll!

And then…

FUCK! Where are my keys?

The front door is locked, so they must be somewhere between the car and — FUCK! Seriously?

If you’re an ADHDer, this is where things really get tough. Your confidence and hope start to fade.

If you have some tools, have been doing this for a while, or feel a powerful urge to prove wrong those who might dismiss you as a flake, you might not lose your cool. You might pause. Breathe deeply.

If you’re an ADHDer with a glimmer of hope, some faith, and a wide view of The Divine Plan, you might just let go of the urge to criticize yourself. If your neurodivergent brain is acting this way at this moment, it must be perfect, even if it feels awful.

Did I take my medication, eat, exercise, meditate?

A recovering ADHDer may ask themselves such questions in situations like these.

Yes, maybe, no, sort of? Not really meditation. Exercise is essential. It’s fine. Breathe. Tense your body, hold, release. Again. Breathe slowly!

Huzzah! You remember! The keys are in the clothes bag in the trunk! You were juggling your phone and the bag. You were trying to lock the door, had no pockets in these pants, unlocked the car from the porch (You’re clever!) then tossed the keys into the clothes bag to avoid losing them on the way to the car! Of course, you would remember this when you reached the car, because, duh!

For an ADHDer, recalling where you placed something temporarily moved is worthy of a checkmark on your Bucket List. This is a moment of grace. Grace can be found throughout your Bucket List if you’re an ADHDer. (Refer to When Your "To Do" List is Your Bucket List Part Three for more insights and examples.)

When you paused, breathed, and let go, your mind slowed, creating a space… and a spark of joy. It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. ADHDers are resourceful individuals. Most of those I’ve met have faced challenges in childhood. So, yes…

For a neurotypical mind, it would have been a decent idea. Or maybe you could have tucked them into your mouth, but metal in your mouth can be unsettling for an ADHDer, perhaps. (It certainly is for me. I avoid using metal forks when possible.)

This moment of space and stillness as you remember where your body was when it separated from A Lost Thing feels so hopeful and exquisite that you hesitate to move. However, if you’re going to complete Task Number ONE, you need to retrieve your keys from the trunk.

In the trunk is an unopened bag of kettle chips, kept for emergencies. You tear it open but realize your mind’s a bit jumbled. If you plan to achieve anything, you need protein, Omega-3.

You'll quickly run in and whip up a fast egg. You, poor, protein-deficient ADHDer, start walking towards your front door, thinking you’ll listen to that podcast about codependency while cooking, just to ensure your gift-giving is on point, wanting to be generous, but not too generous — … DO NOT leave the stove unattended while you’re listening, you remind yourself as you reach the door.

If you’re an ADHDer, chances are you’ve burned plenty of butter, water, and candles down to uncomfortable levels.

This is why you set all those alarms (See Part Four) and know better than to “self-care” with a grand five-course meal prepared entirely by yourself at home unless you check in with someone before AND after.

Then, suddenly… you burp. Egg.

You stop. Or rather, your body does, almost of its own accord.

Once again, you hear, "Three things."

You now realize that the nervous system escalation of losing your keys nearly sent you down a rabbit hole… a logical and easily justified one, but still, not the path you truly want.

One of the key realizations for an ADHDer is understanding that the “thing” causing the rush, non-linear actions, interruptions, and lack of completion is NOT who they are.

I am not ADHD any more than Patrick Swayze was pancreatic cancer.

I use that example because not everyone knows Patrick Swayze succumbed to pancreatic cancer, and it's a memorable analogy, so perhaps it will stick.

Swayze also took a break from acting to raise Arabian horses after his father passed and his sister took her own life. He was married to the same woman for over thirty years… and almost missed out on the role that captured the hearts of countless teenage girls.

People think they understand ADHD. They think they know celebrities. But you can’t truly “know” either unless you know the individual.

An ADHDer who dedicates COMMITTED TIME for slow, quiet, spacious experiences and observations can break patterns and train their minds toward effective and rewarding thinking. Not neurotypical thinking, mind you, but a way of BEing that can thrive in the world.

And look… it worked! Go you, recovering ADHD warrior!

You don’t unlock the door, you don’t scroll through your phone for a podcast, and you don’t berate yourself for forgetting that when you got up many hours ago and were quite hungry, you had four leftover deviled eggs before taking your meds. The medication often suppresses your appetite and leaves you forgetting to eat. Early this morning, you managed to clear your mind and listen to ASMR, sat calmly, and gently redirected your thoughts when they wandered — a new form of meditation for you, as an ADHDer who enjoys keeping things interesting.

Walking back to the car, shoving kettle chips into your mouth, you mumble…

Just get to Goodwill. Just accomplish one thing, for goodness' sake.

Key in the ignition. A calming crystal bowl playlist requiring NO DECISION-MAKING is activated. A sense of ease settles in. It’s time to go. Sure, others “run errands,” the typical folks, but you are no ordinary person.

You, brave ADHD adventurer, conquer mountains.

And now, it’s time for some Goodwill Hunting!

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅ Curious about what unfolds next? Join me to find out… ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

Hannah Logan is an empathetic soul, a healer, a writer, and a champion for meaningful causes. She engages in various artistic pursuits and aids others in exploring their creativity. Her mission is to leave the world and the people she encounters in a better state than she found them, primarily through kindness, honesty, creativity, and embracing her unique quirks.

Explore the links below for more about her work:

Chapter 2: Crafting Your Bucket List

This video discusses how to create a practical and actionable bucket list, helping you to transform your dreams into achievable goals.

In this engaging video, viewers are encouraged to reflect on their own bucket lists and share their unique aspirations, fostering a sense of community and motivation.