Chapter 1: The Pitfalls of Positivity

At one point, I embodied the essence of positivity. I was the person who could always find a silver lining, the cheerleader for endless possibilities. However, as I’ve navigated my healing journey from childhood and various life experiences, I’ve realized that this persona no longer resonates with me. I’ve transitioned away from being a "good vibes only" individual.

Why this change? I've recognized that such an approach often amounts to spiritual bypassing. This means avoiding the tough, uncomfortable conversations and experiences that can lead to personal and relational growth. It's about wanting to reap the rewards of positivity without engaging in the challenging work that fosters a truly fulfilling life.

My past relationship serves as a poignant example. My ex-boyfriend once confessed that he couldn't love me when I expressed anger. I responded, "Then you don’t love me." While I understand that anger can be tough for some to handle, it's an integral part of the human experience. Healthy individuals experience a spectrum of emotions: anger, sadness, confusion, joy, and everything in between.

While it’s natural to prefer positive emotions, I’ve learned that acknowledging and embracing all feelings is crucial. Here are two key reasons why:

ONE: The path through challenging emotions is straightforward: acknowledge them. Instead of suppressing or acting out, approach your feelings with curiosity. Often, simply being present with your emotions allows them to dissipate.

TWO: Engaging with difficult emotions enhances your overall emotional experience. When you shut yourself off from unpleasant feelings, you inadvertently limit your capacity to enjoy life fully, even if you label this as "being positive." As Kahlil Gibran wisely noted, the deeper the sorrow that carves into your being, the greater the joy you can hold.

But what if you find it hard to sit with your emotions, or you struggle to identify them due to past conditioning? Fortunately, there are plenty of resources available today. A trauma-informed coach or therapist can guide you in discovering and honoring every aspect of yourself. This journey is undoubtedly a process, but it is immensely rewarding. Every part of you deserves love and acceptance, and true healing involves embracing all facets of your being.

Chapter 2: Understanding Toxic Positivity

The first video, Are Good Vibes Only Bad? | Susan David, explores the potential downsides of an exclusively positive mindset, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging all emotions.

The second video, Toxic Positivity: Why 'Good Vibes Only' is Hurting You, delves into how an obsession with positivity can hinder emotional growth and well-being.