Understanding Hysterics in Children

In this article, I want to share an intriguing parenting technique that can help parents address “inappropriate” behaviors in children effectively. As mentioned in my previous article on the role of games in preschoolers' lives, play serves multiple functions, including educational ones. However, this particular method requires considerable patience from the parent, as it involves a lengthy process and may necessitate a significant shift in the parent's own behavior. I appreciate your patience as I delve into this topic with enthusiasm, hoping to keep you engaged throughout.

Let’s clarify the situation with a relatable example. Imagine a mother and her three-year-old son in a store. The child spots a candy he has never seen before and instantly desires it. The scenario unfolds predictably: the child pleads, the mother refuses, leading to tears and uncontrollable crying. Now, picture a long queue of people watching, some sympathetic, others judgmental. Under this social pressure, the mother caves in and buys the candy, reinforcing the child’s belief that crying will lead to getting what he wants. This pattern can easily become a habit, leading the child to use tears and tantrums in various situations.

You might wonder why I shared this anecdote. It highlights several key components:

• The story illustrates how hysterics can form. The child, in this case, isn't consciously trying to manipulate; instead, he is expressing his disappointment with tears, having no other way to convey his feelings.
• Societal pressure plays a role. Some people in line sympathize with the mother, while others judge her decision. This external scrutiny can add stress to the parent.
• Parents may inadvertently reinforce hysterical behavior. When they consistently give in to tantrums, they teach their child that such behavior is effective.
• Hysteria can escalate. A simple desire for candy can evolve into a broader pattern of demanding behavior, where the child tries to control the situation through tears. I’ve seen children manipulate their parents to an extreme, where they dictate the mood in the household.

Returning to our main theme, the components mentioned above will guide us in outlining the rules for educating through play:

1. Games can help diminish manipulative hysterics (for more insight, refer to my article on children's hysterics).
2. Parenting should not be swayed by the reactions of those around you. It’s crucial to focus on healthy upbringing rather than succumbing to public judgment.
3. Parents often reinforce their child's hysterical behavior unknowingly by constantly acquiescing to their demands.

Now, let's discuss how to approach education through play. The following elements are vital:

• Assess the level of "unacceptable" behavior to craft an effective play strategy.
• Plan events that create the desired mood for your child.
• Ensure parental involvement and responses that encourage positive change.

To start, it’s essential to evaluate whether the child is genuinely manipulating or simply expressing emotions. This distinction is critical, as it influences our approach. Each scenario requires a different method of resolution.

Once manipulative behavior is identified, we can create predetermined events, which could be a discussion or the initiation of a game. Children are often receptive to play. After an incident of hysterics, parents might ignore the behavior or threaten exclusion from future outings. Instead, I propose redirecting attention to the incident without reproach.

Consider inviting your child to participate in a talent show game where you play the host and they are the performer. Frame it like this: “Remember yesterday when you cried in the store because I didn’t buy you candy? I wonder if you can repeat that now, or if you’re a good actor? Let’s find out!”

We aim to provoke a playful imitation of the tantrum, reducing the emotional charge. Surprisingly, after this imitation, it’s beneficial to praise your child. This praise encourages the next phase of the game, focused on reducing emotional intensity.

You might say, “Wow, great job! But I think you could do it even better without all the fuss. Let’s see how you can act it out softly.” Consider offering small rewards like a trip to the park or extra time at a play area. This method reinforces positive behavior through incentives. Tailor the rewards to what resonates with your child, as you know them best.

By consistently engaging in this play-based approach, you'll guide your child towards acceptable behavior. It’s advisable to repeat this exercise 1-2 times daily. If approached correctly, you should notice improvements within days, with diminishing hysterical outbursts by the week’s end. Gradually increase the complexity of the game to challenge your child further.

While the idea of “praising hysterics” may seem counterintuitive, remember that we are acknowledging a lesser degree of hysteria—behavior you wish to encourage. It’s important to manage your expectations and celebrate every sign of positive change, both in the game and real life. Recognizing your child’s progress fosters trust and strengthens your bond.

This is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but if you commit to this method, you can effectively address unwanted behaviors and establish a foundation for a trusting relationship with your child.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! Thank you for taking the time to read this article.

Additional Resources

If you’re interested in parenting topics, feel free to explore my other articles. I would appreciate your feedback in the form of comments or likes.

Here’s a video titled "HOW TO PLAY Hysteria (Brouhaha Games) | Video Rulebook | The Cardboard Stacker." This video offers a comprehensive guide on how to play the game Hysteria, which aligns with our discussion about managing behaviors through play.

Another insightful video, "Hysteria a card game: Overview and how to play," provides an overview of the game and its mechanics, further illustrating how play can be a valuable tool in parenting.