The Eulogy You Aspire To Hear

When we imagine our own eulogy, many envision a comforting and uplifting scene. We hope that a cherished friend or family member will stand up, struggling with emotion, and recount how we always made them feel valued and appreciated. They might reminisce about the late nights spent offering support during tough times or how we instinctively showed up when they needed us most.

Your loved ones may share tales of your unwavering loyalty, bravery, and altruism. They could highlight the sacrifices you made—like prioritizing their happiness over your own or setting aside your dreams for their sake. Ideally, they would describe you as someone who made others feel cherished, whose love was evident through countless small actions each day.

However, the stark reality is that the eulogy we hope for might starkly contrast with the one that could be delivered. That realization can be painful.

The Eulogy You Might Hear

Let’s face it—none of us are perfect. As much as we wish to be remembered in glowing terms, life doesn’t always align with our hopes. What if, rather than heartwarming anecdotes, the memories shared reflect how often you seemed preoccupied? What if someone stands up and remarks, "They were always too busy—focused on their work, even when physically present"?

Would that sting?

What if your children, despite their love for you, recall how frequently you said, "Maybe later," only for "later" to never arrive? What if the people closest to you remember the moments you missed—birthdays, special occasions, or quiet times when they simply needed you?

Life is composed of small, seemingly trivial moments, yet these are the memories that remain. It’s not only the significant events that count but also the consistent patterns of your everyday existence. Did you dedicate enough of yourself to those who matter? Did you prioritize those little moments, or did you assume there would always be time to catch up?

Imagine hearing someone say, "They were successful, but they never really connected with anyone," or "They were kind, but I often felt a barrier between us." Would you want to be remembered as someone who kept loved ones at arm's length?

What If Silence Prevails?

Perhaps the most heartbreaking scenario is this: What if no one speaks at your eulogy? What if your life was so consumed by personal aspirations and daily tasks that, when the time comes, there is no one left to share your story?

This reflection is not meant to be harsh; rather, it serves as a reminder that relationships are the core of life. The connections you forge, the love you extend, and the time you invest in those you cherish will resonate long after you’re gone. Your job title, achievements, and possessions will eventually fade. What will endure is how you made people feel. If you didn’t nurture love and connection, what will be left behind?

Envision the void of a funeral devoid of stories and shared memories. It’s a frightening thought, yet many of us unconsciously march toward it. How often do we utter, "I’ll make time later," or "They’ll understand my busyness"? But will they? And even if they do, will they truly feel loved?