Chapter 1: The Shift in Perspective

Initially, I was very concerned with outcomes.

I believe this is a common sentiment.

When my first book, Trust Me I'm Lying, was released, I felt about 10% pride in my work and 90% anxiety about sales figures, waiting impatiently to see if I would make the bestseller list. The anticipation was endless. However, over time, my mindset has transformed significantly.

This change was gradual, influenced by several disappointments in sales rankings. As many creators eventually discover, the piece you consider your greatest achievement might not perform as well as you hoped, while something you hastily put together could unexpectedly become a major success.

Now, I often visualize an indistinct baseball player at the plate, captured in a close-up similar to something you'd see on SportsCenter. The player is mid-swing, making contact with the ball in a way reminiscent of legends like Mickey Mantle or Ted Williams, with the front leg extended and the bat hitting the ball flawlessly.

That's the essence of the image.

In the past, I might have worried about the outcome—where the ball would land, who the player was, and what team he represented. But as I've honed my skills as a writer, I've come to realize that those details are far less important.

The focus is now on that moment of connection—the bat meeting the ball. It’s astonishing to think about the physics involved in hitting a baseball, where timing is crucial to achieve that satisfying crack as the ball is sent soaring. This act is not only an impressive feat but also requires unwavering dedication.

An athlete learns that dwelling on the outcome distracts from their immediate responsibilities, such as running the bases.

Consider the story of Frank Robinson, a baseball great. In an otherwise forgettable game, he heard the gratifying sound of the ball leaving his bat and, convinced it would clear Fenway’s left field fence, jogged to first base at half-speed. However, the ball fell short, hitting the iconic "Green Monster." He ended up with a single instead of a home run.

Afterward, he placed $200 on his manager's desk as a self-imposed fine for losing focus and not performing to his potential. This story illustrates a kind of greatness that transcends mere statistics, offering valuable lessons for everyone.

Of course, in the real world, there are practical considerations—companies must meet payroll, and sales numbers are crucial. Whether you are a writer or work on commission, results do matter. Robinson, who earned multiple MVP awards and a World Series MVP, certainly understood the importance of success.

Yet, as you progress in your endeavors, you begin to appreciate a fundamental Stoic principle: distinguishing between what you can control and what you cannot.

My responsibility lies in the effort I put forth. The reception of that work? Less so. The way it compares to others’ efforts in terms of quality or financial success? Again, much less important. Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations, "Ambition is tying your well-being to what other people do and say. Sanity is tying it to your own actions."

When you find yourself reliant on external validation for success, you detract from the process at hand. This diverts your energy from improving your craft—efforts that truly matter and yield results.

As Ian Happ shared with me on The Daily Stoic Podcast, excessive concern for external opinions led to his demotion after a promising rookie season with the Chicago Cubs in 2017. He reflected, "I was more focused on how others perceived me than on my own process." Recognizing this, he shifted his focus back to his performance. "Instead of worrying about impressing a coach, I decided to trust myself, put in the work, and eventually, they would have no choice but to include me." This mindset led to a strong comeback, culminating in an All-Star selection and a Gold Glove award.

What you gain from this shift is not just success but also the enjoyment and appreciation of the opportunity itself. Engaging in your passion—whether it's playing baseball, writing, or pursuing any calling—should be an incredible experience. Being overly fixated on outcomes diminishes this joy, making you impatient and anxious about the eventual verdict of your efforts. Unfortunately, the world does not reward that kind of mindset.

Reflecting on my journey from Trust Me I'm Lying to Discipline is Destiny, I realized that my initial sense of security had shifted dramatically. While I did not consider the new book flawless, I genuinely enjoyed the process of creating it. When I later learned it was my fastest-selling work, I was pleasantly surprised, but it did not alter my feelings about the writing itself.

I remained focused on that initial connection with the ball—the rest is simply a bonus.

And that’s how it should be.

Chapter 2: The Importance of Being Present

The first video, "Once You Stop Caring, the Results Come - The Philosophy of Michel de Montaigne," explores how detachment from outcomes can lead to unexpected success. It emphasizes the value of focusing on the journey rather than fixating on the destination.

The second video, "7 Reasons Why Men START TO CARE When You Stop Caring," discusses how shifting your focus away from others' perceptions can empower you and enhance your performance.