Chapter 1: The Leap into Freelancing

Last year, I made the bold decision to leave my intense corporate job to pursue my long-standing aspiration of becoming a freelance creative in writing, art, and design. Writing has always been a passion, prompting me to join Medium in November. Initially, I wrote casually, averaging about 2–3 articles weekly. The moment I saw my Medium Partner Earnings dashboard show a shocking TWO DOLLARS after my first few posts was a turning point. Until that point, I believed earning money online was reserved for those more innovative or confident than I. That $2.62 ignited my motivation, and I continued my writing adventure, enjoying the connections I formed through comments and discussions, and relishing the chance to finally call myself a true writer.

As January rolled around, my ambition grew, leading me to explore numerous articles on Medium about improving my writing skills. The algorithm helped by presenting an abundance of valuable content related to my interest, and I found myself drawn deeper into this rabbit hole.

However, when I finally emerged, I felt overwhelmed. The success stories of others boasting hundreds or thousands of followers, or those claiming to write multiple articles daily alongside a full-time job and kids, initially filled me with excitement. I began planning to write two articles a day, compiled a list of advice, and researched popular tags. But when it was time to write, I found myself paralyzed. I would type a few incoherent thoughts, delete them, switch topics, and ultimately distract myself with mindless scrolling instead of creating.

This paralysis extended to my other projects as well. I had ideas for submissions to tech publications but found myself too intimidated to complete them. Curiously, I knew exactly what I wanted to write, having worked in that field for years and written numerous reports. Yet, I felt completely unable to put pen to paper.

The same struggle occurred with my art and design work. After years of creating art during my corporate job, I had always intended to sell my pieces online once I had more time. But now that I was free, I dreaded showcasing my work.

For days, I sank deeper into despair, feeling increasingly guilty for failing to meet my self-imposed targets of writing two articles and uploading five artworks. I continuously reminded myself of the importance of consistency as a freelancer and felt like a complete failure. To exacerbate my distress, my former boss reached out, offering me a chance to return to the company with a higher salary and a more prestigious title—an offer I ultimately turned down, feeling foolish for doing so, especially since I was barely earning anything from my writing and art.

One afternoon, while I lugged my laptop to a café, desperate to work on my stories and projects, an epiphany struck: I needed to learn how to fail.

I realized that I must embrace rejection, discomfort, and disappointment. Only by experiencing these feelings could I understand how to fail without equating it to personal failure. My exploration into improving my writing and productivity was worthwhile, but I had overlooked a crucial lesson: how to face failure head-on.

Many on Medium likely started as entrepreneurs, but I was not one of them. My last freelancing experience was over 15 years ago and lasted only six months. I had always followed a more conventional path—university, steady jobs, and gradually climbing the career ladder. In the corporate world, failure was a rarity for me, cushioned by a supportive structure. Now, without that safety net, I felt like a newborn fawn, struggling to find my footing.

In this unfamiliar territory, I faced a paralyzing fear of failure, which left me stuck in front of my screen. Although many excellent resources offer strategies for overcoming such feelings, it's essential to find what resonates personally. Here are some methods that helped me regain my motivation:

Getting Physical

Psychologists recommend activities that reduce cortisol levels, like taking deep breaths, going for walks, or soaking up sunlight. My realization about needing to embrace failure came while I was physically moving to a café, changing my environment.

Embracing Discomfort

I learned to welcome the discomfort, rejection, and failure. I once read about a door-to-door salesman who celebrated every rejection, knowing that each "no" brought him closer to a "yes." The journey of freelancing is filled with pain and setbacks, so I must learn to appreciate the process.

Reflecting on Dreams

At the age of 41, I often recall a game my colleagues played in my 20s, "If not here, where?" My dream answer was clear: "I want to be a writer and artist!" Back then, the dream felt daunting, and I chose the corporate path instead. Now, with time passing, I find myself contemplating "If not now, when?"

So, I pen this reflection to connect with others who may also fear failure in pursuing their dreams. Remember, we can achieve our goals, but first, we must embrace failure and learn from it. Each "no" takes us one step closer to a "yes."

I wish you all an enriching year filled with the lessons that come from failure.

Chapter 2: Learning from Rejection

The first video, titled "What Failure Taught Me & Why You Should Fail Forward | Mindshift 10 - YouTube," explores the valuable lessons learned from embracing failure and how it can propel personal growth.

The second video, "Why You Should Want to Fail - YouTube," discusses the importance of wanting to fail as a stepping stone toward success.