Chapter 1: The Illusion of Open-Ended Goals

Have you ever experienced moments in your life that feel incomplete? It's worth reflecting on whether that sensation is unsettling or oddly comforting. Sometimes, allowing things to remain unresolved can provide an escape from confronting reality. This is why many individuals choose to ghost others; it’s less daunting to leave a situation ambiguous rather than fully closing the chapter.

While we might not perceive the closure happening, it inevitably does. An open-ended goal is not truly a goal; it’s merely a fantasy. The thinking goes, "If I had 'X' amount of time and committed fully, I could achieve it." But have you genuinely tried?

“It’s Not a Fear of Failure, It’s a Fear of Closure”

Numerous articles discuss how overcoming a fear of failure has led to personal growth through trial and error. However, I believe many misunderstand this concept. While failing can be disheartening, it often isn’t the catastrophic experience we imagine. I remember my initial theater audition where I failed miserably. That disappointment stung, but it didn't deter me from pursuing new endeavors.

The true challenge lies not in fearing failure but in confronting closure. When you give your all to something, you become aware of your standing. Without that commitment, you're merely testing the waters. It’s akin to claiming you can swim when you’ve only dipped your toes in.

“Ask Yourself the Right Kind of ‘What If’”

Asking yourself “What if” can be a powerful exercise. Consider these possibilities: What if you achieved your best physical shape? What if you embraced a new career and devoted yourself fully? What if you stopped living as a mere shadow of your potential?

Alternatively, reflect on the regrets: What if five years ago you had taken a chance on love? What if you’d pursued a new career path before settling down? These negative “what ifs” can become toxic. While we all have past regrets, the present moment is what we can influence. Imagine the possibilities if you were willing to dive into the deep end.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” — Neale Donald Walsh

Chapter 2: Escaping the Comfort Zone

It's easy to keep parts of our lives open-ended as it creates a false sense of security. Living with the belief that you could put in more effort if needed can be tempting. However, failing to commit fully can lead to more pain. Imagine dedicating years to a career path only to fall short; does that make you a failure? Not at all—it simply reveals areas where you can improve.

The allure of dabbling in new opportunities becomes stronger when you experience setbacks. It feels less risky to approach something half-heartedly, hoping for a stroke of luck. But as the saying goes, “Luck is when hard work meets opportunity.” Without effort, those opportunities will slip away, and you’ll find that door closing repeatedly.

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…” — Theodore Roosevelt

Take the leap into the deep end and ask yourself what life would look like if you truly committed. What if you said no to the barriers holding you back? What if you dedicated just a month to this pursuit?

Initially, this can be daunting. The fear of confronting reality can be paralyzing, leading to doubts about your adequacy. Yet, overcoming the fear of closure is possible. It’s only over when you decide it is. While it may be exhausting and may seem like you’re sacrificing other aspects of life, you can always choose to walk away on your own terms.

In this video, "Stop Quitting on Your Goals. Here's How. Stick to Your Goals!" you will discover strategies to help you commit and succeed in achieving your goals.

This TED talk by Emmanuel Acho, "Why You Should Stop Setting Goals (Yes, Really)," challenges conventional thinking about goal-setting and encourages a different approach to success.